Thursday, May 30, 2013
Something to think about…
Is there a plank in your eye?
I received this email today. The title caught me and reeled me in. We’re (almost) all guilty of judgment. So I thought I would share.
I had a doctor’s appointment for little Dem a couple of weeks ago, so I was sitting in the doctor’s office hallway, waiting for our turn.
A young couple with a 6 or 7 year old boy was waiting with us.
While little Dem was slowly walking around the hallway, exploring new surroundings, the older boy kept whining, throwing toys on the floor, and pushing on his parents nerves.
At one point he stumbled and with surprised look on his face sat on his bottom. He looked up at his mother, who immediately rushed to him with a panicked look on her face, grabbed him in her arms and started feverishly whispering “It’s ok, oh, it’s ok, it will pass soon…”
The boy took the hint and started crying.
It was obvious that he was in no pain, he was just following his mother’s lead and behaving himself just as she expected.
What was the first thing I did?
Immediately in my head I judged her.
“What an unwise parenting,” I thought, “She is really just spoiling the child. What kind of man will he grow up to be?”
Of course in this moment I felt very “wise” myself, full of parental pride and my own superiority.
In a minute or two my conscious mind finally woke up and the awareness came “Here, I’m judging again.”
I was ashamed, really.
Judging is the habit that I battle with constantly.
Judging leads to fault finding, stereotyping, manipulation, and blame. The judgments instill fear, defensiveness, inferiority, resentment, hatred, and disliking.
By judging others we get into trouble when conversing with other people. Our relationships suffer. Our friendships suffer. We feel like there is a wall between us and others.
I don’t want these things in my life, so I’m working hard to stop judging and labeling people.
The truth is, that when you stop being judgmental, one magical thing happens.
People feel it and respond to it.
Once you learn how not to judge you will become a powerful person.
Your personal magnetism will radiate in every conversation. People will feel at ease when talking to you and love your company. When you remove judgments, communication tears open and people begin to, at last, understand one another.
Don't you agree? I'm subscribed to Arina's quote of the day and she always gives me something to think about.